Understanding the Two Sides of Appetite in Eating Disorder Recovery
When most people think of hunger, they imagine a simple biological cue — a growling stomach or a dip in energy that tells us it’s time to eat.
But hunger is more complex than that. Our drive to eat is influenced not only by the body’s physiological needs but also by our emotions, environment, and learned experiences.
In recovery work, understanding the difference between homeostatic hunger (biological need) and hedonic hunger (pleasure-driven desire) can help clients rebuild a healthier, more trusting relationship with food and their bodies. true.”
Homeostatic vs. Hedonic Hunger
When most people think of hunger, they imagine a simple biological cue — a growling stomach or a dip in energy that tells us it’s time to eat.
But hunger is more complex than that. Our drive to eat is influenced not only by the body’s physiological needs but also by our emotions, environment, and learned experiences.
In recovery work, understanding the difference between homeostatic hunger (biological need) and hedonic hunger (pleasure-driven desire) can help clients rebuild a healthier, more trusting relationship with food and their bodies.
What Is Homeostatic Hunger?
Homeostatic hunger is the body’s biological way of maintaining balance — or homeostasis.
It’s regulated by internal signals such as:
Leptin, which signals fullness and energy sufficiency
Ghrelin, which triggers hunger when energy stores are low
Blood sugar levels, which influence energy stability
This type of hunger typically builds gradually and feels physical — like a rumbling stomach, lightheadedness, or fatigue. It’s your body saying, “I need nourishment.”
For those recovering from eating disorders, homeostatic hunger can become dysregulated. Years of restriction, bingeing, or purging often dull the body’s natural signals. Learning to recognize and honor these cues again is an essential part of recovery — and a process that takes patience and consistency.
What Is Hedonic Hunger?
Hedonic hunger is driven by the pursuit of pleasure and reward — the kind triggered by the smell of fresh bread, the taste of something sweet, or even the emotional comfort of food.
It’s influenced by dopamine pathways in the brain and can be activated even when the body’s biological needs are already met.
Hedonic hunger isn’t inherently bad — it’s part of being human.
Eating for enjoyment, celebration, or comfort can be a meaningful part of a balanced relationship with food.
However, for individuals struggling with eating disorders, hedonic hunger can become entangled with guilt, shame, or compulsion. For example:
Someone recovering from restriction may feel anxious when pleasure drives eating rather than need.
Someone with binge eating patterns might experience hedonic hunger as overwhelming, leading to loss of control or secrecy.
Understanding that hedonic hunger is a normal and valid form of hunger — not a moral failure — is an important step toward healing.
How These Two Types of Hunger Interact in Eating Disorders
Eating disorders often distort both homeostatic and hedonic hunger signals:
Over time, the brain and body stop communicating effectively, and food becomes charged with fear, control, or comfort — rather than nourishment.
Restoring Balance: Relearning to Trust Hunger
Recovery involves reconnecting both body and mind:
Body Awareness Practice:
Notice early hunger cues like slight emptiness or difficulty concentrating, and respond before hunger becomes extreme.Permission and Structure:
Eating at regular intervals retrains the body to expect nourishment — essential for reawakening homeostatic hunger cues.Emotional Literacy:
Learn to differentiate between emotional needs (“I feel lonely”) and physiological ones (“I feel hungry”). Both deserve care, just through different forms of nourishment.Mindful Eating:
Bring awareness to taste, texture, and satisfaction without judgment — bridging the gap between homeostatic and hedonic eating.Normalize Pleasure:
Recovery includes reclaiming joy around food. Pleasure and nourishment can coexist. Food that tastes good is not indulgent — it’s restorative.
A Compassionate Takeaway
In a culture that moralizes hunger and glorifies control, distinguishing between homeostatic and hedonic hunger helps us return to the body’s wisdom.
True recovery isn’t about perfect eating — it’s about rebuilding trust with hunger cues, softening self-judgment, and allowing both nourishment and pleasure to exist side by side.
Your body isn’t the enemy; it’s the messenger. Learning its language again is one of the bravest parts of recovery. Contact Bee Blissful today if you’re ready to learn your body’s language.
Dual Awareness: Learning to Hold Two Truths at Once
In therapy, one of the most powerful skills clients learn is something called dual awareness — the ability to hold two seemingly opposite truths at the same time without letting one cancel out the other.
It’s the gentle reminder that “two things can be true.”
In therapy, one of the most powerful skills clients learn is something called dual awareness — the ability to hold two seemingly opposite truths at the same time without letting one cancel out the other.
It’s the gentle reminder that “two things can be true.”
You can love someone and feel angry with them.
You can feel grateful for your life and still long for change.
You can feel compassion for someone’s pain and still need distance to protect yourself.
This skill can feel counterintuitive at first, especially for people who grew up in chaotic, invalidating, or emotionally intense environments where only one feeling was “allowed” at a time. But learning to hold both truths is one of the cornerstones of emotional regulation, self-trust, and inner peace.
What Is Dual Awareness?
Dual awareness means being able to notice two emotional realities or perspectives at once — for example, “I understand why this person acted that way” and “it still hurt me.”
It’s the opposite of black-and-white thinking, where your mind tries to make one truth erase the other. Instead, dual awareness invites integration: you don’t have to pick a side between empathy and honesty, compassion and boundaries, or love and disappointment.
When we learn to hold both truths, we become less reactive, more grounded, and more authentic.
Where It Comes From
Dual awareness stems from several trauma-informed and mindfulness-based therapeutic approaches:
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches that two opposing truths can exist simultaneously — for example, “I’m doing the best I can, and I want to do better.” The “dialectic” part of DBT literally means balancing opposites.
Trauma-Focused and Somatic Therapies (such as EMDR and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy) use dual awareness to help clients stay connected to the present moment while remembering or processing painful experiences from the past. Clients learn, “I’m safe now, even as I remember something that wasn’t safe then.”
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) emphasize noticing and accepting thoughts and feelings without judgment — holding discomfort and compassion together instead of choosing one over the other.
Each of these approaches helps clients move from emotional rigidity (“I have to pick one truth”) to emotional flexibility (“I can hold both”).
Why It Matters
Without dual awareness, our emotions can feel like a tug-of-war.
If you feel empathy but ignore your boundaries, you burn out.
If you protect yourself but suppress empathy, you feel hardened and disconnected.
Dual awareness helps you hold compassion and self-respect, love and truth, grief and gratitude. It makes room for the full spectrum of your humanity.
Practicing Dual Awareness in Daily Life
Here are a few ways to strengthen this skill:
Name both truths out loud.
“I’m excited for this new opportunity, and I’m scared I might fail.”Use mindful grounding.
Place one hand on your heart and one on your stomach. With each breath, remind yourself: “Both of these feelings belong here.”Journal the two sides.
Write: “Part of me feels ___, and another part of me feels ___.” Then, close with: “Both are valid.”Release the need to fix.
You don’t have to choose which emotion wins. Let them both exist until they naturally settle.
The Takeaway
Dual awareness is about expanding your emotional window — making space for the contradictions that come with being human. When you stop fighting for just one truth to be “right,” you make room for wisdom, peace, and emotional maturity.
You can be healing and still have hard days.
You can care for others and still choose yourself.
You can hold two truths at once — and both can lead you toward balance.
Contact Bee Blissful today if you’re interested in learning how to apply this concept in your life.
Come Back to Your Values
There’s a simple truth I often share with clients:
“If you don’t know what you truly value, you’ll always default back to what you’re struggling with.”
When we’re tired, triggered, or overwhelmed, our minds instinctively return to familiar patterns — avoidance, control, numbing, perfectionism, or self-criticism. These responses feel automatic because, in the absence of direction, the brain defaults to survival.
Values work gives us something stronger than survival — it gives us intention.
Values: The Compass for Every Struggle
There’s a simple truth I often share with clients:
“If you don’t know what you truly value, you’ll always default back to what you’re struggling with.”
When we’re tired, triggered, or overwhelmed, our minds instinctively return to familiar patterns — avoidance, control, numbing, perfectionism, or self-criticism. These responses feel automatic because, in the absence of direction, the brain defaults to survival.
Values work gives us something stronger than survival — it gives us intention.
Why Values Matter
Values are the compass points that guide us toward what’s meaningful — the kind of person we want to be, the life we want to live, and the way we want to show up when things get hard.
When you’re connected to your values, you can experience pain or urges without losing yourself in them.
You can be tempted, reactive, or uncertain — and still choose to return to what matters most.
The Default Loop
When we’re unclear about what we value, our minds go on autopilot.
We:
Overthink or seek control.
Avoid discomfort by numbing or people-pleasing.
Chase short-term relief instead of long-term meaning.
These patterns reinforce suffering — not because we’re weak, but because we’re disconnected from purpose.
The mind loves clarity, and without it, it will choose comfort over growth every time.
Returning to Your Values
Intentional living doesn’t mean being perfect. It means learning to pause and say:
“I’m struggling right now… but I know what matters to me.”
That simple shift brings agency back online. When we reconnect to values, we create a choice point — the moment between reaction and response where healing happens.
Be tempted… but come back to your values.
Struggle with an urge… but come back to your values.
Get lost in a thought… and gently return to your values.
Every time you come back, you’re reinforcing a new neural pathway: one rooted in meaning, not fear.
How to Identify Your Values
Start with questions like:
“What qualities do I want to embody, even on hard days?”
“What kind of friend, partner, parent, or person do I want to be?”
“If I couldn’t fail, what would I want my life to stand for?”
Write down 3–5 values that feel alive for you — not what you think you should value, but what genuinely resonates.
(Examples: connection, honesty, balance, compassion, growth, service, creativity, authenticity.)
Turn Values Into Coping Skills
Your values aren’t abstract ideals — they’re coping anchors.
Once you’ve identified them, list the activities or habits that reflect each one.
Those behaviors are your built-in coping strategies.
When you feel stuck or triggered, look at your list and choose one small behavior that honors a value.
That’s how you pivot from reaction to alignment.
Values Are the “Come Back” Point
You will be tempted. You will get distracted. You’ll struggle with urges and old habits.
That’s okay — that’s being human.
The goal isn’t to eliminate struggle; it’s to anchor yourself in what matters most when struggle shows up.
Every time you return to your values, you’re practicing resilience — the kind that doesn’t depend on perfection or control, but on awareness and intention.
So when life pulls you off course, remember:
You can always come back to your values.
They are your compass home.
Here are some helpful materials:
Helpful Literature: The Illustrated Happiness Trap by Russ Harris & Bev Aisbett
Contact Bee Blissful today if you believe that you need to realign with your values.
The Spoon Theory
If you’ve ever said, “I just don’t have the energy today,” you’re already speaking the language of the Spoon Theory — even if you didn’t know it.
The Spoon Theory is more than a metaphor; it’s a tool that helps people understand energy management, self-compassion, and boundaries — especially when living with chronic illness, trauma, anxiety, or burnout.
It gives language to something invisible: the daily mental, physical, and emotional cost of simply being human.
Understanding Energy, Boundaries, and Emotional Capacity
If you’ve ever said, “I just don’t have the energy today,” you’re already speaking the language of the Spoon Theory — even if you didn’t know it.
The Spoon Theory is more than a metaphor; it’s a tool that helps people understand energy management, self-compassion, and boundaries — especially when living with chronic illness, trauma, anxiety, or burnout.
It gives language to something invisible: the daily mental, physical, and emotional cost of simply being human.
What Is the Spoon Theory?
The Spoon Theory was created in 2003 by writer and lupus advocate Christine Miserandino to explain what it’s like living with a chronic illness.
In her essay, she used spoons to represent units of energy.
Healthy people tend to start the day with an unlimited supply of spoons.
But for someone living with chronic illness or emotional fatigue, spoons are finite — every task, even small ones, costs one.
For example:
Getting out of bed → 🥄
Taking a shower → 🥄
Driving to work → 🥄🥄
Responding to messages or family demands → 🥄🥄🥄
When you run out of spoons, you’re done — there’s no more energy left to give without consequences.
This metaphor has since expanded far beyond chronic illness communities. Therapists, trauma survivors, caregivers, and individuals with depression, ADHD, or anxiety now use it to describe the invisible labor of managing daily life.
How the Spoon Technique Helps in Therapy
From a counseling perspective, the spoon technique offers a mindful and self-compassionate framework for pacing and self-regulation.
Here’s how it supports mental health recovery:
1. It Creates Language for Invisible Struggles
Clients often feel guilty for not being able to “keep up.” The spoon theory helps externalize that guilt:
“It’s not that I’m lazy; it’s that I ran out of spoons.”
This language reduces shame and encourages empathy from others.
2. It Reinforces the Importance of Energy Boundaries
By identifying what tasks or interactions deplete energy, clients can begin setting healthy boundaries.
For example:
“I only have two spoons left after work — I can’t commit to going out tonight.”
This boundary isn’t avoidance; it’s self-preservation.
3. It Encourages Pacing and Planning
Therapists often teach “spoon budgeting.”
Just like managing money, clients can plan their day or week by estimating how many spoons each task requires — and ensuring some are saved for rest or joy.
4. It Validates Neurodiversity and Chronic Stress
People with ADHD, PTSD, or anxiety often expend more spoons on tasks others find effortless (like transitions, focus, or socializing).
The metaphor normalizes the reality that your baseline is unique — not a reflection of weakness.
Applying the Spoon Technique in Daily Life
Here’s how you or your clients can use the technique practically:
🥄 Step 1: Identify Your Daily Spoon Count
Each day might look different depending on sleep, stress, or symptoms.
You might have 10 spoons one day and 4 the next — that’s okay. Awareness is key.
🥄 Step 2: Track Where Your Spoons Go
Write down your daily activities and note how many spoons each one costs. Over time, you’ll notice patterns — certain people, environments, or habits consistently drain you.
🥄 Step 3: Budget Wisely
If you know you have a demanding day ahead, plan spoon-saving strategies:
Prep meals the night before
Limit social media or multitasking
Build short breaks between tasks
🥄 Step 4: Refill Your Spoons
You can’t “hustle” your way out of depletion. Replenishment looks like:
Resting without guilt
Engaging in creativity or gentle movement
Time in nature
Supportive social connection
Therapy or mindfulness practices
Rest is not a luxury — it’s energy maintenance.
What Therapists Often See
Many clients in recovery — especially those healing from trauma, people-pleasing, or chronic stress — tend to ignore early depletion signs until they hit emotional burnout.
The spoon theory helps clients visualize their capacity in real time, shifting the focus from “What’s wrong with me?” to “How much energy do I have, and how do I protect it?”
A Gentle Reminder
You don’t need to earn rest.
Your worth isn’t measured by productivity or how many spoons you spend in a day.
The goal isn’t to have endless spoons — it’s to use them intentionally on things that align with your values, relationships, and healing.
So if you’re running low today, remember:
It’s okay to set the spoon down. Rest is part of the work.
Here are some helpful materials:
Contact Bee Blissful today if you realize you find value in the Spoon Theory and you want to learn more techniques like this.
Understanding Cognitive Dissonance
Have you ever felt that uncomfortable twist in your stomach when your actions don’t align with your values? That internal conflict is called cognitive dissonance—and it quietly shapes many of the choices, justifications, and emotional struggles we experience every day.
Have you ever felt that uncomfortable twist in your stomach when your actions don’t align with your values? That internal conflict is called cognitive dissonance—and it quietly shapes many of the choices, justifications, and emotional struggles we experience every day.
What Is Cognitive Dissonance?
Coined by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1957, cognitive dissonance refers to the psychological tension that arises when our beliefs, attitudes, or behaviors contradict each other.
For example:
You value honesty, but tell a “harmless” lie.
You prioritize health, yet skip the gym and order fries.
You believe your partner should communicate openly, yet you avoid sharing your own frustrations.
That uneasy feeling you experience afterward is your brain’s alarm system signaling inconsistency.
Why It Matters
Cognitive dissonance isn’t just mental discomfort—it’s a powerful motivator for behavioral or emotional change. The human mind strives for consistency; when faced with conflict between belief and behavior, we instinctively try to restore balance.
We usually do this in one of three ways:
Change our behavior – aligning actions with beliefs (e.g., actually going to the gym).
Change our beliefs – rationalizing our actions (“I deserve a break today”).
Add new justifications – introducing thoughts that reduce the discomfort (“Everyone lies sometimes”).
While these strategies help reduce tension, they can also keep us stuck in unhealthy cycles if we justify rather than address contradictions.
Everyday Examples
Relationships: Staying in a relationship that feels misaligned because admitting the mismatch threatens your sense of loyalty or self-image.
Work: Enduring a job that drains you while convincing yourself it’s “not so bad” because leaving feels risky.
Habits: Knowing social media harms your focus yet telling yourself it’s “how I unwind.”
Recognizing these small inner battles helps reveal where your values and behaviors aren’t truly in sync.
How to Work Through Cognitive Dissonance
Pause and Notice the Discomfort
That uneasy or defensive feeling is a cue, not a failure. Name it: “I feel conflicted because my action doesn’t match my value.”Identify the Core Belief
What value or identity is being challenged? (e.g., “I value honesty,” “I want to be compassionate,” “I believe in balance.”)Evaluate Your Options
Can you act differently next time, or is your belief evolving? Authentic change comes from self-awareness, not guilt.Practice Self-Compassion
Dissonance is part of growth. It means you care about living in alignment with your deeper truth.
In Therapy
In counseling, exploring cognitive dissonance helps clients uncover hidden conflicts, such as:
Wanting intimacy but fearing vulnerability
Striving for independence while craving approval
Valuing peace but avoiding necessary confrontation
Therapeutic dialogue allows you to see both sides clearly and choose the one that best serves your long-term wellbeing.
Final Thoughts
Cognitive dissonance is the mind’s way of asking, “Are you living in alignment?”
It can be uncomfortable—but it’s also a sign of awareness. When we learn to face that inner conflict with honesty and curiosity, it becomes a doorway to deeper integrity, peace, and personal growth.
Contact Bee Blissful today if you feel like your mind is fighting itself. Together we can find a solution.
The Window of Tolerance
Have you ever wondered why sometimes you can handle stress calmly, while other times the smallest thing sends you spiraling or shuts you down completely?
That shift has less to do with willpower and more to do with your nervous system — specifically, something therapists call the Window of Tolerance.
Have you ever wondered why sometimes you can handle stress calmly, while other times the smallest thing sends you spiraling or shuts you down completely?
That shift has less to do with willpower and more to do with your nervous system — specifically, something therapists call the Window of Tolerance.
What Is the Window of Tolerance?
The Window of Tolerance is a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist and interpersonal neurobiology expert. It describes the zone where you can think clearly, feel your emotions, and stay connected to yourself and others, even when life is stressful.
When you’re inside your window, you can experience emotions — even difficult ones — without becoming overwhelmed or numb. You can respond, not just react.
Download this handout for a visual on the Window of Tolerance
When You’re Outside the Window
When stress or trauma pushes you outside your window, your nervous system moves into one of two protective states:
Hyperarousal – “Fight or Flight”
You might feel:
Anxious, angry, panicked, or out of control
Racing thoughts or heart rate
Urge to move, fix, or escape
Your body is saying, “I’m in danger — I need to do something.”
Hypoarousal – “Freeze or Shutdown”
You might feel:
Numb, foggy, disconnected, or exhausted
Unable to think, speak, or take action
Like you’re observing life rather than living it
Your body is saying, “I can’t escape — I’ll conserve energy and shut down.”
Where the Concept Comes From
The Window of Tolerance stems from trauma-informed and attachment-based therapies, especially:
Somatic and Polyvagal approaches, which focus on body-based regulation and the nervous system’s role in trauma recovery.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, which help clients stay grounded (“within the window”) while processing distressing memories.
Mindfulness-based therapies, which teach awareness and gentle self-regulation through breathing, grounding, and present-moment focus.
These modalities all use the window as a visual and practical guide for emotional regulation and safety.
Why It Matters
Many people with a history of stress, trauma, or instability have a narrower window, meaning they become overwhelmed or shut down more easily.
The good news is that your window can expand over time through therapy, grounding, and safe connection.
When you learn to notice where you are — hyperaroused, hypoaroused, or regulated — you can use tools to guide yourself back to center.
How to Widen Your Window
Here are a few ways to strengthen emotional regulation and stay within your window:
Ground Through Your Senses
Look around and name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.Use Breath to Signal Safety
Slow, deep breathing activates your body’s calming system. Try inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 2, and exhaling for 6.Notice Without Judgment
Instead of saying “I’m overreacting,” try “My nervous system is activated right now.” This replaces shame with awareness.Connect With Safe People
Emotional co-regulation (feeling calm with another person) helps widen your window over time.Work With a Therapist
Trauma-informed therapy helps you identify triggers, strengthen regulation skills, and build a sense of safety inside your body again.
The Takeaway
Your reactions aren’t failures — they’re your body’s way of protecting you.
Understanding your Window of Tolerance helps you meet yourself with compassion instead of criticism.
You can’t always control what life brings, but you can learn to regulate your nervous system, recognize when you’re outside your window, and gently guide yourself back home to calm.
At Bee Blissful Counseling, we use trauma-informed, mindfulness-based approaches to help you widen your Window of Tolerance, reconnect with your body, and build emotional safety that lasts. If you’re ready to learn how to stay grounded even when life feels overwhelming, Contact Bee Blissful today.
What Is Thought Diffusion?
We all have those moments when our mind feels like a runaway train—racing thoughts, worst-case scenarios, old memories looping in our head. Sometimes we don’t even notice that our thoughts have started steering the wheel of our emotions and decisions.
That’s where Thought Diffusion comes in—a mindfulness-based skill that helps you step back from your thoughts instead of getting swept up in them.
We all have those moments when our mind feels like a runaway train—racing thoughts, worst-case scenarios, old memories looping in our head. Sometimes we don’t even notice that our thoughts have started steering the wheel of our emotions and decisions.
That’s where Thought Diffusion comes in—a mindfulness-based skill that helps you step back from your thoughts instead of getting swept up in them.
What Is Thought Diffusion?
Thought diffusion (also called cognitive diffusion) is the practice of noticing your thoughts as thoughts—not as facts, commands, or definitions of who you are.
Instead of saying, “I’m a failure,” diffusion helps you reframe it as,
“I’m having the thought that I’m a failure.”
That tiny shift adds distance between you and the thought. You’re no longer inside it—you’re observing it. The thought may still show up, but it loses its power to define your mood or behavior.
Where It Comes From
Thought diffusion stems from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a mindfulness-based behavioral therapy developed by Dr. Steven C. Hayes and colleagues.
ACT teaches that pain is an inevitable part of being human—but suffering increases when we fuse with painful thoughts (“I am my anxiety,” “I am unlovable”). Diffusion helps you defuse from those thoughts, creating space to act according to your values rather than your fears.
Other approaches that echo this idea include:
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT): observing thoughts without judgment.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): noticing “mind chatter” without reacting.
Why It Matters
When you’re fused with your thoughts, they feel like truth. Diffusion teaches you that thoughts are events in the mind—they come and go like clouds passing across the sky.
Benefits of practicing thought diffusion include:
Lower anxiety and rumination
Greater emotional regulation
Improved focus and decision-making
A kinder inner dialogue
In short, diffusion turns the volume down on mental noise so your values and calm voice can be heard.
How to Practice Thought Diffusion
Here are a few gentle ways to start:
1. Label the Thought
When a distressing thought arises, add the phrase:
“I’m having the thought that ___.”
This separates the thought from your identity and lets you observe it.
2. Give It a Name or Image
Visualize the thought as a cloud, leaf, or bubble floating by. Watch it drift away without trying to change it.
3. Say It Silly
Repeat the thought out loud in a cartoon voice or sing it to a familiar tune. This breaks its seriousness and exposes it as just words.
4. Notice, Don’t Argue
Instead of debating whether the thought is true, simply note:
“There’s that worry again.”
This keeps you grounded in awareness rather than analysis.
5. Return to the Present Moment
Anchor yourself with breath, sound, or sensation:
“I’m here, in this moment. My mind is busy, and that’s okay.”
The Takeaway
You don’t have to control or eliminate your thoughts—just change your relationship with them. Thought diffusion helps you create a little breathing room between stimulus and response, between old narratives and new choices.
The next time your mind starts shouting, pause and remember:
“This is just a thought. I don’t have to believe everything I think.”
Over time, that space becomes freedom—the freedom to respond with clarity, compassion, and intention.
If you’d like to learn practical tools for managing anxious thoughts and living more intentionally, Contact Bee Blissful today.
Type C Parenting
In the world of parenting styles, we’ve long heard about Type A parents—meticulously organized, achievement-focused—and Type B parents—laid-back, go-with-the-flow caregivers. But lately, a new archetype has emerged, and it’s resonating with parents everywhere: the Type C parent.
This style blends structure and flexibility, offering a more realistic and emotionally attuned way to raise kids. If you’ve ever felt torn between keeping a tight schedule and embracing life’s inevitable chaos, you might already be a Type C parent.
The Balanced Approach Modern Families Need
In the world of parenting styles, we’ve long heard about Type A parents—meticulously organized, achievement-focused—and Type B parents—laid-back, go-with-the-flow caregivers. But lately, a new archetype has emerged, and it’s resonating with parents everywhere: the Type C parent.
This style blends structure and flexibility, offering a more realistic and emotionally attuned way to raise kids. If you’ve ever felt torn between keeping a tight schedule and embracing life’s inevitable chaos, you might already be a Type C parent.
What Is Type C Parenting?
Type C parenting lives in the middle ground. It’s not about relentless perfection or complete spontaneity—it’s about knowing when to hold structure and when to let go. A Type C parent values consistency, but not at the expense of connection. They know that sometimes bedtime will be on time, and other nights it might be pushed back for a heartfelt conversation or a backyard stargazing session.
In essence, Type C parents:
Create structure but allow room for flexibility.
Value emotional connection as much as routine.
Model adaptability by responding to circumstances instead of clinging to a plan at all costs.
Why It Works
This balanced approach fosters:
Security: Kids still have routines they can count on.
Resilience: Flexibility teaches children how to adapt to change.
Emotional Safety: Prioritizing connection helps kids feel heard, valued, and respected.
Signs You Might Be a Type C Parent
You might be a Type C parent if you:
Have a family calendar but don’t panic when things shift.
Value order but embrace mess when it means more joy.
Hold boundaries but make exceptions for special moments.
Plan activities while leaving space for spontaneous adventures.
Everyday Examples
Planning to have dinner at 6:30, but deciding to grab ice cream in the park because the weather is perfect.
Packing snacks, sunscreen, and a schedule for a family trip—then scrapping the schedule when everyone wants to explore a street festival you didn’t know existed.
Encouraging homework before screen time, but letting your child finish their favorite movie first when they’ve had an especially tough day.
Tips for Embracing Type C Parenting
Set Flexible Routines – Have structure, but treat it as a guide, not a rulebook.
Check Your “Why” – When you’re enforcing a rule, ask if it’s for the child’s benefit or to uphold perfection.
Prioritize Connection – Let emotional moments take precedence over rigid schedules.
Model Adaptability – Show kids how to gracefully pivot when plans change.
Release the Guilt – Messy moments don’t mean you’ve failed—they mean you’re living real life.
Ready to See Where You Land?
Take our free Type C Parenting Self-Assessment to discover whether your parenting style leans Type A, Type B, or sits in the balanced Type C zone.
📄 Download the Type C Parenting Self-Assessment (PDF)
🎨 View the Color-Coded Scoring Visual (PDF)
Once you complete the self-assessment, compare your scores to the visual guide to see where you fall on the spectrum—and use your results to fine-tune your approach.
The Bottom Line
Type C parenting isn’t about being the “perfect” middle—it’s about being intentional. It’s knowing your values, staying attuned to your children’s needs, and being willing to adapt when life doesn’t follow the plan.
It’s the reminder that raising kids is a marathon, not a sprint—and sometimes the best memories happen when we let go of the schedule and simply show up in the moment.
Contact Bee Blissful today to learn how you can implement Type C Parenting strategies.
Finding Meaning in the In-Between
We all know what it’s like to be between things. Between jobs. Between relationships. Between who we were and who we’re becoming.
That suspended, uncertain, and often uncomfortable space is called the liminal phase — and while it can feel disorienting, it’s also one of the most profoundly transformative stages of life
We all know what it’s like to be between things. Between jobs. Between relationships. Between who we were and who we’re becoming.
That suspended, uncertain, and often uncomfortable space is called the liminal phase — and while it can feel disorienting, it’s also one of the most profoundly transformative stages of life.
What “Liminal” Really Means
The word liminal comes from the Latin limen, meaning “threshold.”
In anthropology and psychology, it describes the middle stage of transition — the space after something has ended but before the next thing has fully begun.
It’s the cocoon between caterpillar and butterfly.
The quiet after a breakup but before rediscovering yourself.
The months (or years) between an ending and a new identity that hasn’t yet formed.
The liminal phase isn’t always graceful. It’s messy, nonlinear, and sometimes painful — because it asks us to sit in the unknown without rushing toward resolution.
Why the Liminal Space Feels So Uncomfortable
We live in a world that celebrates progress, productivity, and clear outcomes. The in-between, by contrast, often feels like failure or stagnation.
You might feel:
Lost or directionless (“Who am I now?”)
Impatient (“I should be further along.”)
Afraid of uncertainty (“What if this doesn’t work out?”)
Detached from your old identity but not yet connected to the new one
These feelings are normal. They signal that transformation is already underway. You’re not stuck — you’re becoming.
The Psychology of the Liminal Phase
In therapy, we often see the liminal phase emerge after major transitions: divorce, relocation, career changes, illness, or grief.
It’s a period of ego reconstruction — where old belief systems dissolve, making space for something new to form.
Psychologist William Bridges described this process in three stages of transition:
Ending, Losing, Letting Go – the identity or structure that defined you is gone.
The Neutral Zone (Liminal Phase) – confusion, uncertainty, and possibility coexist.
The New Beginning – a new sense of purpose or stability emerges.
Most of us want to skip straight to Step 3. But it’s the middle — the liminal — where growth truly happens.
The Purpose of the Liminal Phase
The liminal phase isn’t punishment. It’s preparation.
It invites us to:
Pause: Step back from autopilot and see what’s no longer aligned.
Integrate: Process grief, disappointment, and lessons from what ended.
Reimagine: Begin to imagine what life could look like moving forward.
Rebuild: Strengthen resilience, faith, and trust in yourself.
In this space, you don’t have to have the answers. You only have to stay curious.
How to Move Through the Liminal Phase with Grace
1. Stop Measuring Progress
In the liminal phase, linear progress doesn’t apply. Healing is cyclical — one step forward, two steps sideways, three steps inward.
Give yourself permission to rest, to recalibrate, to not know.
2. Name What You’re Letting Go Of
Every transition involves loss — even if it’s of something you chose to leave. Naming that loss honors it and allows your mind to release it.
3. Create Gentle Structure
Without some grounding, the in-between can feel endless. Simple rituals like morning journaling, walks, or scheduled rest bring a sense of continuity while everything else shifts.
4. Notice What’s Emerging
Even in uncertainty, there are clues. You might start craving different things — deeper relationships, creative expression, peace instead of hustle. Those are breadcrumbs pointing toward your next chapter.
5. Seek Support
Therapy, community, or spiritual guidance can help you stay anchored while you navigate identity shifts. You don’t have to navigate this liminal landscape alone.
A Reframe: You’re Not Lost — You’re Rewriting
What if this in-between time isn’t about waiting, but gestating?
Like the quiet earth between seasons, your inner life is reorganizing beneath the surface. You’re laying the foundation for something truer and more sustainable than before.
When you look back, you’ll realize the liminal phase was not the pause between your life chapters — it was the turning point that made the next one possible.
Closing Thought
If you find yourself in the thick of uncertainty right now — unsure of who you are, where you’re going, or how long it will take — remember this:
The liminal phase is where the old story dissolves and the new one begins to take shape. It’s not a void; it’s a threshold.
Stand in it with patience, curiosity, and compassion.
Transformation is already unfolding — even if you can’t see it yet.
Contact Bee Blissful today if you feel like you’re caught in the liminal phase. Let’s find meaning in the in-between.
The 7 Types of Love
When most people think of love, they often imagine romantic relationships—roses, passion, and falling head-over-heels. But love is much broader and deeper than just romance. In fact, the Ancient Greeks identified seven distinct types of love, each representing a different way we form emotional bonds.
Understanding these types of love can help us navigate relationships with more clarity, compassion, and purpose. Let’s explore what they are and how they show up in our lives.
Understanding the Many Ways We Connect
When most people think of love, they often imagine romantic relationships—roses, passion, and falling head-over-heels. But love is much broader and deeper than just romance. In fact, the Ancient Greeks identified seven distinct types of love, each representing a different way we form emotional bonds.
Understanding these types of love can help us navigate relationships with more clarity, compassion, and purpose. Let’s explore what they are and how they show up in our lives.
1. Eros – Romantic, Passionate Love
Named after the Greek god of love, Eros is fiery, intense, and full of desire. This is the kind of love that draws you in with physical attraction and emotional longing. It's the spark that often ignites a new relationship, but it's also the most fleeting if not nurtured with deeper connection.
Healthy eros involves mutual respect and consent, not just infatuation.
2. Philia – Deep Friendship
Philia is the love between close friends—the kind that feels like soul-level connection without romantic attraction. This love is based on shared values, trust, loyalty, and emotional intimacy.
Philia teaches us that deep love doesn’t always require romance to be real or meaningful.
3. Storge – Unconditional, Familial Love
This is the natural, instinctual love that grows between parents and children, or among siblings and family members. Storge is built over time through familiarity, nurturing, and a sense of safety. While it’s often assumed in families, it still needs to be protected and maintained.
This love can also be found in adoptive or chosen families—it’s about care, not biology.
4. Agape – Selfless, Universal Love
Agape is the most selfless form of love. It’s the compassion we feel for strangers, the forgiveness we extend even when it’s hard, and the love that expects nothing in return. It’s often described as spiritual or divine love.
Agape invites us to love beyond our personal circles—with empathy for all.
5. Ludus – Playful, Flirtatious Love
Ludus is the fun side of love—the teasing, flirting, and lighthearted connection that often shows up in the early stages of romance. It’s the butterflies, the text messages, and the spontaneous laughter.
While Ludus can feel carefree, it still thrives on respect and clear boundaries.
6. Pragma – Committed, Enduring Love
Unlike the fiery passion of Eros, Pragma is the steady, mature love that develops over time. It’s the love of long-term partnerships, rooted in commitment, compromise, and shared goals. It’s not always exciting, but it’s deeply rewarding.
Pragma shows us that love is a choice we make every day—not just a feeling.
7. Philautia – Self-Love
Last but definitely not least, Philautia is the love we extend toward ourselves. It can be healthy—self-compassion, self-respect—or unhealthy, like narcissism. Balanced Philautia helps us set boundaries, believe we are worthy, and care for others without losing ourselves.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Loving yourself is not selfish—it’s essential.
Why Knowing These Types of Love Matters
Understanding these different types of love can change the way we show up in all areas of life. Maybe you're neglecting Philautia while chasing Eros. Maybe you're craving Pragma after too much Ludus. Or maybe you're seeking more Agape in a world that often feels divided.
Love isn’t one-size-fits-all. And when we start to recognize the diversity of love, we can build more balanced, fulfilling relationships—with others and with ourselves.
Contact Bee Blissful today if you’d like to learn more about how to foster these different types of love.
What Is Self-Worth?
Have you ever questioned your value? Maybe after a failure, a breakup, or a period of low motivation, you found yourself asking, "Am I enough?"
If so, you’re not alone — and you're also asking one of the most important emotional questions a person can ask. That question speaks to something deeper than self-esteem or confidence. It speaks to self-worth.
Have you ever questioned your value? Maybe after a failure, a breakup, or a period of low motivation, you found yourself asking, "Am I enough?"
If so, you’re not alone — and you're also asking one of the most important emotional questions a person can ask. That question speaks to something deeper than self-esteem or confidence. It speaks to self-worth.
Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem: What’s the Difference?
While they’re often used interchangeably, self-worth and self-esteem are not the same.
Self-esteem is usually tied to what you do — your achievements, skills, or how others see you.
Self-worth, on the other hand, is rooted in who you are. It’s the deep, unwavering belief:
"I am valuable simply because I exist."
It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about being productive. It’s about knowing your existence matters — flaws, failures, and all.
7 Core Components of Self-Worth
Let’s break it down. Self-worth is made up of several emotional and psychological building blocks. When these are nurtured, your sense of worth grows stronger and more stable.
1. Self-Acceptance
This is the foundation. It means embracing your whole self — the proud parts and the struggling parts. It’s saying:
"I can be a work-in-progress and still be worthy of love."
2. Self-Compassion
Instead of beating yourself up for every mistake, self-compassion lets you respond with kindness and understanding.
“I’m allowed to fall short. I can still offer myself grace.”
3. Personal Integrity
Feeling worthy isn’t about being liked — it’s about being honest with yourself. Integrity means living in alignment with your values, even when no one’s watching.
“I respect myself because I stay true to what matters to me.”
4. Self-Respect
This is about boundaries. Self-respect means not settling for mistreatment, manipulation, or neglect — from others or yourself.
“I matter too much to be disrespected — even by me.”
5. Belonging and Connection
We all need to feel seen, valued, and accepted. When we surround ourselves with people who celebrate us (not just tolerate us), it reinforces our internal sense of worth.
“I don’t have to earn love. I am already enough.”
6. Resilience
Life will test your worth — through rejection, failure, heartbreak. But true self-worth says:
“Even when I’m hurting, I still matter.”
7. Agency and Self-Efficacy
Self-worth grows when we remember that we have choices. When we act in ways that align with our goals or needs, we feel empowered.
“I have a say in my life. I am not powerless.”
How to Start Strengthening Your Self-Worth
Building self-worth isn’t about checking off a to-do list — it’s about shifting how you see and treat yourself over time. Here are a few places to start:
Challenge your inner critic. Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself?
Set one small boundary. Show yourself you’re worth protecting.
Celebrate effort, not just outcomes. Your value isn’t tied to perfection.
Connect with safe, affirming people. Let their reflection of your worth reinforce your own.
Final Thought: You Are Already Enough
Self-worth is not something you have to earn. It’s something you remember. You were born worthy, and despite what life or others have taught you, that truth still stands. You are allowed to make mistakes, take up space, change your mind, heal, and grow — and your worth remains intact through all of it.
If this resonated with you, consider journaling:
What does self-worth mean to me — and what’s one way I can honor mine today?
Contact Bee Blissful today if you would like to increase your self-worth.
What’s in Your Emotional Backpack?
Understanding Emotional Overload, Boundaries, and the Power of Letting Go
Have you ever reached the end of the day feeling heavy, drained, or overwhelmed—but not entirely sure why? Maybe nothing catastrophic happened, yet your body feels tight, your brain won’t slow down, and you’re snapping at loved ones over little things.
Chances are, your emotional backpack is overstuffed—and it’s time to take a look inside.
Understanding Emotional Overload, Boundaries, and the Power of Letting Go
Have you ever reached the end of the day feeling heavy, drained, or overwhelmed—but not entirely sure why? Maybe nothing catastrophic happened, yet your body feels tight, your brain won’t slow down, and you’re snapping at loved ones over little things.
Chances are, your emotional backpack is overstuffed—and it’s time to take a look inside.
What Is an Emotional Backpack?
Think of your emotional backpack as the mental, emotional, and relational load you carry around every day. Like a real backpack, it’s meant to carry only what you need to manage. But over time, we tend to pick up extra weight:
A friend’s crisis
Your partner’s anxiety
An unresolved argument from last week
The pressure to be everything to everyone
The problem? We’re often carrying things that aren’t ours, or keeping emotional burdens long past their expiration date.
How Emotional Overload Happens
Here’s the trap:
You say “yes” when you’re exhausted.
You absorb others’ stress because you care.
You bottle up your own needs to avoid conflict.
You tell yourself, “It’s fine, I’ll deal with it later.”
And just like that, your backpack gets heavier—and you don’t notice until your back gives out emotionally.
This is how anxiety increases, burnout creeps in, and we lose track of our own emotional needs.
What’s in Your Backpack?
Take a moment. Ask yourself:
Am I carrying guilt or shame that isn’t mine?
Am I holding space for someone else’s emotions without support of my own?
Have I taken on responsibilities that should be shared?
Do I regularly check in with my own feelings—or just focus on others?
If you're a caregiver, empath, people-pleaser, or trauma survivor, you might be overloading your backpack out of habit.
How to Lighten the Load
Let’s explore ways to unpack what you’re carrying and learn to travel lighter:
1. Do a Daily Emotional Inventory
Just like you’d clean out your work bag or purse, take five minutes each evening to ask:
What emotions did I carry today?
Which ones were actually mine?
What can I let go of before bed?
Journaling, voice notes, or even a quiet mental review can help.
2. Label the Load: Yours vs. Theirs
Draw two columns:
Mine | Not Mine
Worrying about a deadline | Partner’s reaction to my boundary
Sadness about a loss | Friend’s relationship drama
This helps your brain recognize where to redirect your energy.
3. Practice Saying, “I Can’t Carry This Right Now”
Sometimes love means refusing to carry someone else’s emotional backpack. Try saying:
“I care, but I don’t have the energy to hold this right now.”
“That sounds really hard. I hope you have support for that.”
Boundaries protect your energy so you can show up meaningfully, not resentfully.
4. Release Rituals
When emotional weight lingers, try a symbolic “drop-off”:
Visualize removing a heavy bag and setting it down.
Write a letter and tear it up.
Take a grounding shower and imagine stress rinsing away.
These small acts give your brain permission to let go.
5. Limit Emotional Over-identification
It’s beautiful to care deeply—but if someone else’s emotions become your own, that’s enmeshment, not empathy.
Practice this mantra:
“I can hold space without holding the burden.”
Final Thoughts: You Weren’t Meant to Carry It All
You’re not weak for feeling overwhelmed. You’re not selfish for wanting space. You’re human.
And your emotional backpack? It’s meant to carry your growth, your healing, your truth—not the weight of the world.
Contact Bee Blissful today if today’s the day you unzip it, look inside, and decide:
What can I put down, so I can finally breathe?
What Is Radical Accountability?
Let’s be honest — it’s not easy to admit when we’ve messed up. Whether we snapped at someone we love, avoided a hard truth, or blamed someone else to protect our ego, taking ownership can feel… uncomfortable.
But there’s something powerful — even healing — about looking in the mirror and saying:
“That was on me. And I want to do better.”
This is the heart of radical accountability — a practice that transforms not only our relationships, but our sense of self.
Radical accountability is the practice of fully owning your actions, your words, and the impact they have — even when your intentions were good.
It goes beyond apologizing. It’s about facing yourself honestly, taking responsibility without defensiveness, and committing to change without making excuses.
Let’s be honest — it’s not easy to admit when we’ve messed up. Whether we snapped at someone we love, avoided a hard truth, or blamed someone else to protect our ego, taking ownership can feel… uncomfortable.
But there’s something powerful — even healing — about looking in the mirror and saying:
“That was on me. And I want to do better.”
This is the heart of radical accountability — a practice that transforms not only our relationships, but our sense of self.
Radical accountability is the practice of fully owning your actions, your words, and the impact they have — even when your intentions were good.
It goes beyond apologizing. It’s about facing yourself honestly, taking responsibility without defensiveness, and committing to change without making excuses.
It’s radical because:
It asks you to see your blind spots
It calls you to respond, not react
It requires vulnerability and maturity, especially when it’s hard
What Radical Accountability Is Not
Let’s clear up some common misconceptions:
It’s not:
Beating yourself up or living in shame
Taking blame for things that aren’t yours
Staying in toxic situations to “prove” you’re doing the work
Apologizing to keep the peace without real change
Radical accountability is about growth, not guilt.
Core Principles of Radical Accountability
1. Own the Full Impact — Not Just Your Intent
“I didn’t mean to hurt you” doesn’t undo the hurt.
Instead try:
“I can see how what I did impacted you, and I take responsibility for that.”
2. No Excuses, No Deflecting
Not: “I yelled because you made me angry.”
Instead:
“I chose to raise my voice. That’s something I need to work on.”
This shift builds trust and emotional safety — especially in close relationships.
3. Look at the Pattern, Not Just the Moment
It’s easy to say “I was just having a bad day.” But if a certain behavior keeps happening, it’s worth asking:
“What am I avoiding by acting this way? What fear or wound is driving this?”
Radical accountability invites us to explore the why beneath the what.
4. Repair with Action, Not Just Words
Accountability without change is just lip service. Radical accountability means:
Apologizing without conditions
Asking how you can make it right
Following through — consistently
Why It’s So Hard — and So Worth It
Most of us weren’t taught to take ownership with compassion. We were taught to win, defend, avoid blame, or shut down.
But when we practice radical accountability:
We build real self-respect
We deepen trust in relationships
We stop repeating patterns that hurt us and others
It’s not always easy — but it’s always powerful.
Ready to Practice?
Here are a few reflection questions to get started:
When was the last time I hurt someone — even unintentionally?
How did I respond? Did I get defensive, justify, or shut down?
What would radical accountability have looked like in that moment?
What can I commit to doing differently next time?
Final Thought
Radical accountability isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about being honest, responsible, and willing to grow.
It’s choosing courage over comfort — and becoming someone others (and you) can trust.
So the next time you’re faced with that uncomfortable “ugh, I did that” feeling…
Lean into it.
That’s where your healing — and your power — lives.
Want to take this deeper? Try journaling: “What pattern do I want to take radical accountability for, and what does real change look like?”
Contact Bee Blissful today if you would like to process the need to practice this concept.
How to Create Joy
We often think of joy as something that just happens—like a flash of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day. But what if joy isn’t just something we stumble upon? What if it’s something we can create, gently and intentionally, even in the middle of stress, grief, or overwhelm?
In therapy, I often work with people who are doing their best to survive difficult circumstances. They’re not chasing happiness—they’re just trying to make it through. And sometimes, in that process, the idea of joy can feel almost out of reach or even frivolous.
But here’s what I remind them:
Joy is not a reward. It’s a resource.
We often think of joy as something that just happens—like a flash of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day. But what if joy isn’t just something we stumble upon? What if it’s something we can create, gently and intentionally, even in the middle of stress, grief, or overwhelm?
In therapy, I often work with people who are doing their best to survive difficult circumstances. They’re not chasing happiness—they’re just trying to make it through. And sometimes, in that process, the idea of joy can feel almost out of reach or even frivolous.
But here’s what I remind them:
Joy is not a reward. It’s a resource.
It’s not something we earn by doing enough. It’s something we can access, even in small moments, as a way to stay connected to life and to ourselves.
Here’s how.
1. Notice What Already Feels Good
Joy doesn’t have to be big or loud. Sometimes it’s subtle—a moment that brings relief, lightness, or a sense of ease. Start by asking yourself:
When was the last time I smiled without trying?
What moment today made me feel a little more like myself?
Joy often hides in the ordinary. A favorite song. A warm drink. The quiet pride of finishing something small. When we slow down enough to notice, we start to uncover the joy that’s already here.
2. Engage the Senses
Our senses are powerful gateways to presence—and presence is fertile ground for joy.
Touch: Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket. Sink into warm water.
Sound: Put on music that lifts you. Listen to rain or birds.
Sight: Watch the colors change at sunset. Light a candle.
Smell: Brew coffee. Use essential oils. Open a window after it rains.
Taste: Eat something slowly and savor it.
This isn’t about luxury—it’s about aliveness. Let your senses remind you: I’m here. I matter. This moment counts.
3. Make Space for Playfulness
When was the last time you did something just because it was fun?
Play isn’t just for children—it’s for tired adults who need to remember what it feels like to laugh or try something without pressure. Dance around the kitchen. Doodle. Try a ridiculous challenge. Sing off-key. Let yourself be a beginner.
Play invites freedom. And freedom invites joy.
4. Let Joy Coexist With Other Emotions
One of the biggest misconceptions about joy is that you have to “feel good” to feel it. The truth is, joy can sit right beside grief, stress, or anxiety. You can cry and laugh in the same breath. You can be exhausted and still feel connected.
This is what emotional flexibility looks like. It’s saying:
“Even though I’m hurting, I can still choose moments that feed my soul.”
That’s not denial. That’s resilience.
5. Create a “Joy Menu”
Some days, we’re too tired to think about what we need. That’s where a Joy Menu comes in handy.
Try making a list with three columns:
Quick joy (1–2 mins): Stretch, text a friend, listen to one song
Short joy (5–30 mins): Walk outside, read something inspiring, make tea
Deep joy (1+ hour): Garden, paint, cook, connect deeply with someone you love
Then, when you’re low on motivation, pick something small—something you don’t have to earn.
Final Thought
Joy isn’t about fixing your life. It’s about feeling your life, even in little bursts.
It’s not a distraction. It’s a practice of remembering that there is still goodness available to you.
You are allowed to seek it.
You are allowed to receive it.
You are allowed to create it.
Even now. Especially now.
Contact Bee Blissful today if ant support creating space for more joy in your life? Therapy can be a place to reconnect with what makes you feel alive. Reach out if you're ready to explore that together.
Rage Baiting & How to Protect Your Peace
In the age of viral outrage, “rage baiting” has become a powerful—yet toxic—tool. You’ve probably encountered it without even realizing it. A social media post makes your blood boil. A partner says something cutting just when things were starting to feel calm. A family member pokes at a sensitive subject during dinner. You feel hooked, defensive, and suddenly derailed.
Welcome to the manipulative world of rage baiting.
In the age of viral outrage, “rage baiting” has become a powerful—yet toxic—tool. You’ve probably encountered it without even realizing it. A social media post makes your blood boil. A partner says something cutting just when things were starting to feel calm. A family member pokes at a sensitive subject during dinner. You feel hooked, defensive, and suddenly derailed.
Welcome to the manipulative world of rage baiting.
What Is Rage Baiting?
Rage baiting is a deliberate attempt to provoke an emotional, often angry, reaction. It can show up online, in romantic relationships, families, or workplaces. Whether it's an inflammatory comment or a personal jab, the goal is to stir up strong feelings, shift power, or create drama.
Think of it as emotional clickbait.
What Rage Baiting Looks Like
On social media: Posts designed to spark moral outrage (e.g., “Therapists are just scammers who charge people to talk.”)
In relationships: A partner says, “You always act like a victim,” during a vulnerable moment.
In families: A parent says, “No wonder your relationships never last,” during a disagreement.
The bait is designed to hook your attention and disrupt your emotional regulation.
Why People Rage Bait
People rage bait for different reasons—some conscious, some unconscious:
To gain control: Stirring emotions can give someone the upper hand in a conversation.
To deflect responsibility: If you're on the defensive, they don’t have to reflect on their own behavior.
To seek validation or attention: Provoking others can make someone feel powerful or important.
Because it's familiar: For some, conflict is the only way they know how to connect or feel alive.
The Psychology Behind It
Rage baiting thrives on emotional reactivity. When you’re angry or hurt, your brain shifts into fight-or-flight mode. Logic and empathy go offline. The person baiting you is counting on that.
They want you to explode, retreat, or spiral—because when you do, they get to:
Claim you're "too sensitive"
Reframe the narrative
Dodge accountability
How to Spot Rage Baiting
Ask yourself:
Does this person often push my buttons during calm moments?
Do I feel emotionally hijacked after talking to them?
Do they seem more interested in provoking than understanding?
If the answer is yes, you're likely being baited.
How to Protect Your Peace
Name it to disarm it.
“This feels like bait. I’m not going to engage this way.”Pause before reacting.
Use grounding tools like deep breathing, stepping away, or mentally labeling your emotion.Set boundaries.
“I won’t continue this conversation if it’s just about provoking me.”Refuse to defend what doesn’t need defending.
You don’t have to justify your reality.Don’t take the bait.
Silence or calm redirection is often more powerful than a counterattack.
Final Thoughts
Rage baiting can feel deeply personal—but it’s often a reflection of another person’s need for control, not your worth. You don’t have to match someone’s chaos to prove your point. Emotional safety is built by knowing what’s yours to carry—and what isn’t.
The next time someone casts the line, remember:
You don’t have to bite.
Contact Bee Blissful today if you need help navigating toxic communication or emotional triggers. A therapist can help you build boundaries, self-awareness, and tools for staying grounded when others try to pull you into the storm.
What Is Trust Wound Mapping?
Have you ever found yourself pulling away when someone gets too close? Or panicking when a partner says they need space — even if it's just to breathe?
Maybe you feel guarded in relationships, quick to assume betrayal, or constantly overthinking whether you're "too much" or "not enough."
If any of this resonates, you might be carrying something deeper than insecurity:
You may be carrying a trust wound.
Trust Wound Mapping: A Path to Healing Broken Belief Systems
Have you ever found yourself pulling away when someone gets too close? Or panicking when a partner says they need space — even if it's just to breathe?
Maybe you feel guarded in relationships, quick to assume betrayal, or constantly overthinking whether you're "too much" or "not enough."
If any of this resonates, you might be carrying something deeper than insecurity:
You may be carrying a trust wound.
What Is a Trust Wound?
A trust wound is an emotional injury that develops when someone you relied on — often a parent, caregiver, partner, or trusted figure — was inconsistent, neglectful, harmful, or emotionally unavailable. These wounds often begin in childhood but can be reinforced by adult relationships, betrayal, or emotional trauma.
When trust is broken repeatedly, the nervous system learns:
“People are not safe. I must protect myself at all costs.”
The result? You might long for closeness but push it away. You might crave safety but sabotage it when you feel vulnerable. And most painfully, you might struggle to trust yourself.
What Is Trust Wound Mapping?
Trust wound mapping is a guided, intentional process that helps you:
Identify where your trust was broken
Understand how it shaped your beliefs and behaviors
Begin repairing your relationship with trust — in others, and in yourself
By mapping your trust wounds, you’re not just rehashing the past — you’re giving it language, shape, and context, so it stops silently driving your present.
How to Start Trust Wound Mapping
1. Name the Origin
Ask yourself:
“When was the first time I felt that trusting someone wasn’t safe?”
It might have been a parent who left, a partner who betrayed you, or someone who dismissed your needs repeatedly. This isn’t about blame — it’s about clarity.
2. Explore the Emotional Impact
What did that experience teach you emotionally?
“I’m not important.”
“If I need too much, I’ll be left.”
“I have to earn love or I’ll lose it.”
These become internalized beliefs that shape how you relate to others.
3. Identify Your Protective Patterns
To survive that hurt, you likely developed strategies:
Emotional shutdown
Hyper-independence
Over-apologizing
Distrust or control
Avoiding vulnerability
Clinging or people-pleasing
These patterns once kept you safe. Now, they might be keeping you stuck.
4. Notice How It Shows Up Today
When your trust wound gets triggered, how do you react?
Do you test people’s love to see if they’ll stay?
Do you push them away the moment things feel uncertain?
Do you shut down the moment you're misunderstood?
These reactions are emotional echoes — not signs that something is wrong with you, but signs that something hurt you.
5. Ask: What Does the Wounded Part of Me Need Now?
The part of you that learned not to trust is still there — not broken, just scared.
What would help her or him feel safer now?
Reassurance?
Boundaries?
Time to feel and process?
Safe connection with people who earn your trust instead of demand it?
You can learn to give yourself what you didn’t get — and let others earn their way into your safety zone with time and consistency.
Final Thought: Trust Can Be Rebuilt
Healing a trust wound doesn't mean forgetting what happened. It means no longer letting it define your future. You can learn to trust slowly, wisely, and with boundaries that honor both your history and your healing.
Mapping the wound is the first step. The rest of the journey?
That’s yours to reclaim — one safe, intentional relationship at a time.
Ready to begin? Try journaling: “What did I learn about trust growing up, and how is it showing up in my life today?”
Contact Bee Blissful today if you would like to learn more about Trust Wound Mapping.
Why Do Siblings Fight After a Death in the Family?
When a parent or close family member dies, it can be one of the most emotionally overwhelming times in a person’s life. For siblings, it can also become a period of unexpected conflict. Many people are surprised to find that, instead of pulling together in shared grief, siblings may start arguing, distancing, or even cutting ties. Why does this happen? The answer is layered, emotional, and deeply human.
When a parent or close family member dies, it can be one of the most emotionally overwhelming times in a person’s life. For siblings, it can also become a period of unexpected conflict. Many people are surprised to find that, instead of pulling together in shared grief, siblings may start arguing, distancing, or even cutting ties. Why does this happen? The answer is layered, emotional, and deeply human.
1. Grief Doesn’t Look the Same for Everyone
Each sibling experiences loss through their own emotional lens. One might be outwardly expressive, another stoic. One may throw themselves into planning the funeral, while another avoids everything. These differences can easily be misinterpreted:
"You’re not crying enough."
"You’re making this all about you."
"You don’t care."
In truth, these are all expressions of grief. But when pain is raw, any emotional difference can feel like a personal attack.
2. Old Family Roles and Wounds Re-emerge
Loss can push people into a state of emotional regression. Siblings may slip back into long-standing roles:
The "responsible one" tries to control everything.
The "lost child" disappears or avoids.
The "golden child" asserts authority.
The "scapegoat" feels blamed or ignored.
These roles are often unspoken and deeply embedded. A crisis like death magnifies them, bringing unresolved childhood pain to the surface.
3. Conflict Over the Will or Possessions
Disagreements about the estate, finances, or even who gets sentimental items are rarely just about money or objects. They're often about fairness, recognition, and emotional inheritance:
"I deserve this because I was the caregiver."
"You were always the favorite."
"I just want something to remember them by."
Grief can heighten sensitivity and turn small decisions into symbolic battles.
4. The Family System Has Been Disrupted
The death of a parent, especially the last surviving one, often shakes the foundation of the family. Without that central figure, siblings may feel emotionally adrift. Questions about who now holds the family together arise. Old tensions resurface. Identity and family structure suddenly shift.
This can bring existential anxiety and fear to the surface, which may manifest as anger, detachment, or control.
5. Grief Amplifies Unspoken Emotions
Loss doesn’t just bring sadness—it can also stir up guilt, regret, resentment, and grief for what never was. These emotions often get misdirected:
Unprocessed guilt becomes blame.
Unspoken sadness becomes withdrawal.
Powerlessness becomes anger.
It’s easier to fight about logistics than to sit with heartbreak.
How Can Families Cope with This?
Conflict after a death doesn’t mean a family is broken. It means the emotional load is simply too heavy to carry the way people are used to. Here are a few things that help:
Acknowledge that grief is individual and no one does it the same way.
Name the family roles that may be resurfacing.
Take breaks from emotionally charged conversations.
Seek a grief counselor or mediator for big decisions.
Focus on shared values: honoring the loved one, preserving connection, or protecting peace.
Final Thoughts
If you’re in the middle of this kind of family tension, know this: you're not alone. The pain of grief often echoes through every old wound and memory. What feels like a fight may actually be a cry for safety, for recognition, for love.
Healing is possible—even if it takes time, boundaries, and support. You can honor your loved one not only in ritual, but in the way you choose to move forward.
And sometimes, choosing peace means grieving both the person you lost and the family you wish you had.
Contact Bee Blissful today if you are dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Understanding Motivation Barriers
Ever find yourself saying, “I want to do better… but I just can’t get myself to start”?
You’re not alone—and you're not broken.
Many people struggle with what looks like a lack of motivation, but is actually something deeper: motivation barriers. These are invisible forces that block your ability to move forward, even when your intentions are good.
Ever find yourself saying, “I want to do better… but I just can’t get myself to start”?
You’re not alone—and you're not broken.
Many people struggle with what looks like a lack of motivation, but is actually something deeper: motivation barriers. These are invisible forces that block your ability to move forward, even when your intentions are good.
Let’s take a closer look at what might really be going on—and how you can start shifting the cycle.
What Are Motivation Barriers?
A motivation barrier is anything—internal or external—that keeps you stuck when you want to move forward. It’s the mental, emotional, or physical wall between you and your goals.
Motivation barriers can show up like:
Procrastination or avoidance
Mental fog or decision paralysis
Guilt about not trying “hard enough”
Starting and stopping over and over again
Knowing what to do but feeling unable to follow through
And here’s the truth: it’s not laziness. It’s often overwhelm, fear, or unhealed pain.
Common Motivation Barriers (That Aren’t Just “Laziness”)
1. Fear-Based Barriers
Fear of failure: “What if I try and it doesn’t work?”
Fear of success: “What happens if I outgrow people or expectations?”
Fear of judgment: “They’ll think I’m not good enough.”
Fear often hides underneath “I just can’t get started.”
2. Emotional Barriers
Depression or emotional numbness
Shame or self-doubt
Inner criticism or unhealed trauma
These emotions drain your energy before you even begin.
When your nervous system is in survival mode, growth can feel unsafe.
3. Mental Barriers
Perfectionism: “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it at all.”
Overthinking: “There are too many options—I don’t know what to choose.”
Inner conflict: Part of you wants change, but another part feels terrified.
4. Physical & Lifestyle Barriers
Poor sleep, diet, or energy
Lack of structure or routine
Chronic stress or burnout
ADHD or executive functioning difficulties
If your body’s running on empty, your mind can’t carry the weight alone.
5. Identity & Relational Barriers
People-pleasing: “What will others think if I change?”
Guilt for prioritizing yourself
Fear of outgrowing relationships or roles
Mixed messages from your upbringing (e.g., “success is selfish”)
6. Values Conflict
Sometimes, the issue isn’t you—it’s the goal itself.
You may be chasing something that doesn’t actually align with your true values or identity.
If your “why” doesn’t feel authentic, your “how” won’t stick.
You Don’t Need More Pressure—You Need More Compassion
The most powerful way to move through a motivation block isn’t by pushing harder. It’s by asking:
“What part of me feels stuck, and what does it need?”
“What’s the kindest step I could take right now?”
“Where do I need support, not shame?”
Try This: Gentle Self-Inquiry Exercise
Grab a notebook and reflect:
What’s one thing I keep putting off—even though I want to do it?
What thoughts or feelings come up when I think about doing it?
What fear or need might be hiding underneath those feelings?
What would I try if I weren’t afraid of failing—or being judged?
What would support look like for me in this area?
Small Steps Forward
Here’s what progress really looks like:
One small action, not a full transformation.
Being curious about resistance, not ashamed of it.
Aligning your goals with your actual needs and values—not someone else’s expectations.
Final Thought
You’re not lazy. You’re human.
And if your motivation is blocked, it might mean that something important inside you is asking to be seen, heard, or healed.
So instead of asking, “Why can’t I get it together?”, try asking:
“What do I need to feel safe, supported, and ready to take the next step?”
That’s where the real motivation begins.
Contact Bee Blissful today if you would like to work on increasing motivation..
What Is Self-Actualization?
Have you ever had a moment—maybe while creating something, helping someone, or just being fully present—when you thought, “This is who I really am”?
That’s a glimpse of self-actualization.
It’s not about being perfect or having it all figured out. It’s about becoming more you—aligned with your truth, your values, and your deepest purpose.
Have you ever had a moment—maybe while creating something, helping someone, or just being fully present—when you thought, “This is who I really am”?
That’s a glimpse of self-actualization. Becoming who you actually are.
It’s not about being perfect or having it all figured out. It’s about becoming more you—aligned with your truth, your values, and your deepest purpose.
So, What Is Self-Actualization?
Self-actualization is the ongoing process of realizing your full potential.
It’s when you stop chasing other people’s definitions of success and start asking, “What truly matters to me?”
Coined by psychologist Abraham Maslow, self-actualization is the highest level of his Hierarchy of Needs. Once we’ve met our basic needs—like food, safety, love, and self-esteem—we naturally start seeking more. Not more stuff, but more depth. More meaning. More alignment.
Self-Actualization Sounds Like…
Living in harmony with your core values
Pursuing work or relationships that feel authentic
Creating, helping, or exploring because it fulfills you, not because it impresses others
Letting go of masks, people-pleasing, and perfectionism
Making choices that reflect who you are, not just what’s expected of you
It’s about knowing yourself—and having the courage to live that truth.
Signs You’re Moving Toward Self-Actualization
You might be:
Asking deeper questions about your life, relationships, or beliefs
Saying “no” more often to things that don’t align with your energy
Healing old wounds or breaking generational patterns
Feeling more comfortable in your own skin
Making peace with imperfection and uncertainty
Seeking growth over approval
What Gets in the Way?
If self-actualization is so powerful, why don’t more people get there?
Because we’re often stuck trying to survive, not thrive.
Before you can grow, you need:
Safety (emotional and physical)
Belonging
Self-worth
Many of us have had to hide parts of ourselves to stay safe or accepted. But self-actualization requires us to unlearn that hiding—and replace it with curiosity, compassion, and courage.
How Do You Move Toward It?
Self-actualization isn’t a finish line. It’s a path you walk every day. You can start with questions like:
What brings me alive—even in small moments?
Where in my life am I living for others instead of myself?
What would I try if I weren’t afraid of failing?
Who do I want to be, regardless of who others expect me to be?
You don’t need to change your whole life overnight. Self-actualization often starts with a small, honest decision—to speak up, to rest, to write that poem, to apply for that job, to walk away from something that no longer fits.
Final Thoughts: The Freedom to Be Fully You
Self-actualization is not about becoming someone new—it’s about becoming more fully, more freely, you.
It’s the quiet rebellion of choosing truth over performance.
It’s the radical act of loving who you are—while still growing into everything you can be.
So if you feel something stirring in you—a desire to reconnect, to realign, to come home to yourself—don’t ignore it.
That’s not weakness.
That’s wisdom.
💬 Want to Reflect More?
Here are a few journal prompts to get started:
When do I feel most like myself?
What values matter most to me—and how do I live them daily?
What would my life look like if I stopped holding back?
Contact Bee Blissful today if you would like to learn more about self-actualization.
Why Space in Marriage Isn’t a Problem
In the early stages of a relationship, it’s natural to want to spend every waking moment together. The rush of connection, intimacy, and shared dreams can feel intoxicating. But as a marriage matures, something less romantic—but equally important—becomes essential: space.
In the early stages of a relationship, it’s natural to want to spend every waking moment together. The rush of connection, intimacy, and shared dreams can feel intoxicating. But as a marriage matures, something less romantic—but equally important—becomes essential: space.
Yes, space. Time apart. Room to breathe. A chance to be an individual, not just a spouse. While it may seem counterintuitive, healthy separation within a committed relationship is one of the keys to long-term love and emotional balance.
Why Is Space So Important in Marriage?
1. You Are a Whole Person First
Before you were married, you were someone with your own passions, goals, quirks, and needs. That person still exists—and they deserve room to thrive. Maintaining your identity helps prevent the slow erosion of self that can happen when a couple becomes so enmeshed that individuality disappears.
Being true to yourself isn’t selfish—it’s foundational. When both partners show up as whole people, the relationship is richer, more dynamic, and more fulfilling.
2. Space Supports Mental and Emotional Wellness
Everyone needs time to recharge. Whether it's going for a solo walk, spending time with friends, or engaging in a favorite hobby, these moments of personal time offer reflection, relaxation, and perspective. They allow you to return to your relationship with more patience, clarity, and energy.
Neglecting this can lead to burnout or resentment—two silent killers in a marriage.
3. Room to Grow, Together and Apart
Marriage isn’t the end of personal development—it should be a launchpad. Encouraging your partner (and yourself) to pursue dreams, learn new skills, or explore interests outside the relationship creates a spirit of growth that benefits both people.
Couples who give each other space to evolve often discover new layers of connection as they share their journeys and support each other’s aspirations.
4. Avoiding Codependency
While emotional closeness is vital, over-dependence on your partner for every need—emotional, social, or otherwise—can create imbalance. Healthy boundaries and a sense of independence reduce the risk of codependent dynamics, where one partner becomes responsible for the other’s well-being.
A loving marriage allows each person to stand on their own two feet—and to reach out for connection from a place of choice, not need.
5. Space Builds Appreciation
It’s easy to take someone for granted when they’re always there. Time apart can reignite gratitude, attraction, and excitement. Missing each other—just a little—can actually keep the spark alive.
Space reminds you what you love about your partner, and gives you something to look forward to when you come back together.
6. It Reflects Trust and Respect
Allowing your partner to have their own life doesn’t threaten the relationship—it strengthens it. It communicates: I trust you. I respect your autonomy. I love you for who you are, not just what you do for me.
This trust creates emotional safety, and that safety fuels deeper intimacy.
So What Does Healthy Space Look Like?
It doesn’t mean emotionally shutting down or living separate lives. Instead, it’s about:
Encouraging each other’s interests and friendships
Respecting time alone when needed
Supporting personal goals and growth
Avoiding the urge to control or micromanage
Checking in without smothering
Reconnecting intentionally
The healthiest marriages are not those where two people are constantly fused together, but where each partner stands confidently as an individual—and chooses to come together, again and again, out of love and intention.
In a strong marriage, space isn’t a gap—it’s a bridge.
One that connects two fulfilled people who know how to love themselves and each other.
Contact Bee Blissful today if you are interested in marriage counseling.