How To Find Intrinsic Motivation

Finding intrinsic motivation — the kind that comes from within rather than external rewards — is all about connecting with what genuinely inspires and fulfills you. Here are some steps to help you discover and nurture it:

1. Reflect on What You Love:

• Ask Yourself: What activities make me lose track of time? What did I love doing as a kid?

• Focus on activities that you do simply because they’re enjoyable or meaningful, not because of a reward or approval.

2. Set Personal Goals:

• Define goals that align with your values and passions, not just what others expect of you.

• Example: If you value creativity, set a goal to write, paint, or build something each week.

3. Focus on Mastery, Not Rewards:

• Choose activities that allow you to improve and challenge yourself. The process of getting better can be motivating by itself.

• Break tasks into smaller parts to see progress more clearly.

4. Find Your “Why”:

• Dig deeper into why you want to do something.

• Example: Instead of “I want to work out,” think “I want to feel strong and energized every day.”

5. Surround Yourself with Passionate People:

• Being around others who are excited about their goals can inspire and energize you.

• Join clubs, online communities, or classes that focus on what you care about.

6. Embrace Curiosity and Play:

• Try things out without worrying about being perfect. Curiosity-driven exploration can uncover passions you didn’t know you had.

• Experiment with hobbies, skills, or topics that intrigue you.

7. Practice Gratitude and Mindfulness:

• Recognizing what you appreciate about your life can shift your mindset to a more positive and self-motivated state.

• Mindfulness helps you stay present and connected to what you genuinely care about.

Contact Bee Blissful if there is something specific you’re trying to get motivated about, working with a therapist can help.

How Do We Build Friendships And Not Get Hurt

Building meaningful friendships involves vulnerability, trust, and intentionality, but it also requires realistic expectations and resilience to manage the risk of getting hurt. Here's how to approach it thoughtfully:

1. Start Small with Trust

• Trust is built gradually. Begin by sharing smaller, less personal details about yourself and observe how the other person responds before deepening the relationship.

2. Communicate Openly

• Share your needs, boundaries, and intentions clearly. Friendships thrive on mutual understanding, so being honest from the start creates a strong foundation.

3. Focus on Quality Over Quantity

• Seek out individuals who align with your values, interests, and energy. A few deep, authentic friendships are more fulfilling than many surface-level ones.

4. Be a Friend First

• Practice empathy, listen actively, and show up consistently. Friendships grow when both people feel valued and supported.

5. Accept Imperfections

• No friendship is perfect, and people may unintentionally disappoint you. Learning to forgive and address misunderstandings calmly can prevent minor conflicts from escalating.

6. Set Healthy Boundaries

• Maintain boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. If someone repeatedly disrespects you or causes harm, it’s okay to reevaluate the friendship.

7. Build Emotional Resilience

• Understand that some risk of hurt is inherent in any relationship. When you do feel hurt, process your emotions, reflect on what happened, and see it as a learning experience.

8. Be Intentional About Vulnerability

• Vulnerability is key to deep connection but doesn’t have to happen all at once. Share parts of yourself gradually to gauge whether the other person is willing and capable of reciprocating.

9. Don’t Take Rejection Personally

• Not every friendship will flourish, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you; it simply means the connection wasn’t the right fit.

10. Focus on Long-Term Goals

• Building friendships takes time. Invest consistently, but give yourself grace and space if things don’t immediately click.

Friendships are about connection, not perfection. By balancing openness with self-awareness, you can foster deep connections while protecting your emotional well-being.

If you’re having a hard time building friendships, Contact Bee Blissful. Working with a therapist can help you build these skills.

How To Create Accountability

Creating accountability for yourself when internal motivation is lacking and you feel disconnected from respecting your own wishes can be challenging but entirely possible. Here's a step-by-step approach to build external structures that foster accountability and help you align with your goals:

1. Make Goals Concrete and Visible

• Write down your goals and break them into smaller, actionable steps.

• Post them in a place where you see them daily (e.g., a whiteboard, journal, or phone lock screen).

• Focus on "why" these goals matter to you—tie them to your values or long-term vision.

2. Set External Consequences

• Create a system where not following through has a cost. For example, pledge a certain amount of money to a cause you dislike if you don’t complete a task.

• Alternatively, reward yourself for accomplishing milestones, even if the reward is small (e.g., treating yourself to something you enjoy).

3. Use Structured Tools

• Use apps like Habitica, Todoist, or Trello to track tasks and set reminders.

• Set deadlines and prioritize tasks daily to build consistency.

• Schedule tasks into your calendar like appointments.

4. Find an Accountability Partner

• Share your goals with a trusted friend, family member, or coach.

• Check in with them regularly, whether weekly or daily, and report on your progress.

• Even sharing updates over text or email can help create a sense of obligation.

5. Start Small and Focus on Wins

• Focus on easy wins initially to build momentum. For example, if you're trying to work out, commit to 5 minutes rather than an hour.

• Celebrate small victories to help rebuild trust in yourself.

6. Externalize Motivation Temporarily

• Use external motivators like podcasts, audiobooks, or videos that inspire action.

• Visualize the impact of accomplishing your goals (better health, success, etc.) rather than focusing on the struggle.

7. Rebuild Trust in Yourself

• Commit to small promises daily, even if they’re minor. For example, “I’ll take a 2-minute walk today.”

• Follow through consistently to restore confidence in your ability to respect your internal wishes.

8. Reflect and Reassess

• Reflect daily or weekly on what’s working and what’s not.

• Adjust your system if necessary, ensuring it's sustainable and aligned with your energy levels.

Accountability isn’t about perfection—it's about creating systems that keep you on track, even when internal motivation wavers. Over time, small actions will reinforce the belief that you can trust yourself.

Contact Bee Blissful if there is something specific you’re working on that’s testing your patience, a therapist can help.

How To Work On Being More Present

So your goal seems simple enough, to be more present. But, you’re having a hard time achieving this goal on your own. For a client whose goal is to work on being more present, therapists will often challenge their client to complete assignments that focus on cultivating mindfulness, grounding techniques, and activities that enhance awareness of the present moment. These therapeutic assignments aim to build skills that help the client stay engaged in the here and now, reduce distractions, and develop a deeper connection to their thoughts, feelings, and environment. The accountability that a therapist provides may be that push that you need to actually follow through with some of these techniques and activities. Below are some effective treatment plan assignments:

1. Mindfulness Practices

• Mindful Breathing: Practice deep, focused breathing for 5–10 minutes daily. Encourage the client to notice the sensation of the breath entering and leaving their body.

• Body Scan Meditation: Spend 10–15 minutes scanning the body for tension or sensations, bringing awareness to each area without judgment.

• Mindfulness Apps: Use apps like Calm, Headspace, or Insight Timer to guide daily mindfulness exercises.

2. Grounding Techniques

• 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Engage the five senses to anchor attention to the present moment (e.g., name five things you see, four you hear, etc.).

• Grounding Objects: Carry a small object (like a smooth stone) and focus on its texture and weight whenever feeling distracted or overwhelmed.

3. Journaling Assignments

• Mindful Moments Journal: Write about one moment each day when they felt fully present. What were they doing, feeling, or thinking?

• Gratitude Journaling: List three things they are grateful for at the end of each day to shift focus to the present blessings.

• Stream-of-Consciousness Writing: Set a timer for 10 minutes and write whatever comes to mind without filtering, observing the flow of thoughts.

4. Behavioral Experiments

• Single-Tasking: Commit to completing one task at a time, such as eating a meal without distractions or focusing entirely on a work task.

• Tech-Free Time: Set aside 30 minutes to an hour daily to disconnect from devices and focus on being present with themselves or loved ones.

5. Sensory Awareness Exercises

• Mindful Eating: Choose a snack or meal and eat it slowly, paying attention to the taste, texture, smell, and sensation.

• Nature Walks: Go for a walk and focus on the sounds, sights, and smells of the environment.

• Mindful Showering: Encourage the client to notice the temperature, water pressure, and sensations during a shower.

6. Cognitive Assignments

• Thought Monitoring: Track when their mind wanders and bring it back to the present. Reflect on patterns and triggers for distraction.

• Reframing Questions: Ask, “What is happening right now?” or “How can I fully engage with this moment?” during stressful or distracting times.

7. Creative Activities

• Art or Crafting: Engage in drawing, painting, knitting, or other creative activities that require focus on the present process.

• Photography Assignment: Take photos of things that catch their attention during the day, focusing on details they might usually overlook.

8. Physical Activities

• Yoga or Tai Chi: Practice physical movements that emphasize awareness of the body and breath.

• Mindful Stretching: Spend a few minutes each day stretching, focusing on the sensations in the muscles and joints.

• Walking Meditation: Walk slowly and intentionally, focusing on each step, the ground beneath their feet, and their breathing.

9. Gratitude and Connection

• Daily Gratitude Practice: Write or verbally express gratitude for small, everyday moments to anchor their awareness in the present.

• Meaningful Conversations: Practice active listening in conversations, focusing entirely on the other person without planning responses.

10. Psychoeducation and Reflection

• Psychoeducation on Mindfulness: Provide resources (e.g., articles, videos) on the benefits of being present and mindfulness.

• Reflection Prompts: After completing activities, ask the client to reflect: What did they notice about themselves or their environment? What made the activity challenging or enjoyable?

11. Homework to Monitor Progress

• Mindfulness Tracker: Create a habit tracker for daily mindfulness practices, noting successes and challenges.

• Progress Reflection: Write weekly about how being more present has impacted their mood, relationships, or overall well-being.

These assignments are flexible and can be tailored to the client’s preferences and lifestyle. Consistent practice will help the client internalize mindfulness as a habit and experience its benefits in everyday life.

Contact Bee Blissful today for more information on how a therapist therapist can help you work on being more present.