Guilt & Shame
If you’re struggling with guilt and shame, Brené Brown, a researcher on vulnerability and emotions. She differentiates guilt and shame in a way that helps people understand and process them more effectively. Brené has a some wonderful TED Talks on The Power of Vulnerability and another one on Listening to Shame. A brief summary of her teachings on guilt and shame is highlighted below.
Key Differences Between Guilt & Shame (According to Brené Brown)
Guilt = "I did something bad." (Behavior-focused, can be productive)
Shame = "I am bad." (Self-focused, often destructive)
Synopsis of Brené Brown’s Perspective on Guilt & Shame
Guilt Is a Positive Force for Change
Guilt is about behavior—it tells us we acted in a way that goes against our values.
It can be constructive because it pushes us to make amends and improve.
Shame Is Harmful and Paralyzing
Shame is about identity—it makes us feel unworthy, broken, or fundamentally flawed.
It leads to secrecy, self-hate, and disconnection rather than change.
Shame Thrives in Silence
The more we hide or avoid discussing shame, the more power it has over us.
Shame loses its grip when we talk about it with safe, supportive people.
Empathy Kills Shame
When we share our experiences with someone who responds with empathy, shame weakens.
Self-compassion also helps—treating ourselves with kindness instead of judgment.
Shame Resilience Can Be Built
Recognizing when shame is at play
Talking about it instead of bottling it up
Reframing our internal dialogue (“I made a mistake” vs. “I am a mistake”)
Contact Bee Blissful today if you struggle with shame that keeps you stuck.
